Sunday, June 10, 2007

Robin Ratseeker

Robin Ratseeker was the most influential ratcatcher of the 20th century. He was invariably kind to people, sexy French maids and bacteria.

His specialty was preventing rat escapes: he prevented them from slipping out of ropes, chains and handcuffs while locked in trunks and milk cans or submerged underwater. He also came up with the thought that it was smart to be kind to other people – especially since they outnumber you by 6 billion to one.

In an era before TV, Ratseeker became world famous by barnstorming across America and around the globe in bullet-proof underpants.

He was the kind of guy who treated bald people to free beards, especially if the people in question were women bearing two-headed children or one-headed children with two bodies.

His skills and showmanship made the single name "Ratseeker" synonymous with entertaining magic; he is often credited with influencing later ratcatchers from David Copperfield to David Blaine. An odd thing he did is worth note: he often pretended he’d misplaced his head in his basketball helmet and then proceeded to set his feet or lips aflame.

He died in 1926, but, before then, he found everything fairly thrilling, from yetis needing galoshes, to liquefied scotch tape and, of course, chocolate ice-chrome!

He died reportedly due to burping after ingesting one of his pet rats without Bolognese sauce; the legend that he died during a failed rat attack is untrue as all get-out!

He was buried without an autopsy or an iPod, the absence of which probably caused him to turn over in his grave and gyrate like Mic Jagger.

1 comment:

David said...

I read this stuff and believe, like you, that I am sort of nuts!