Girl strangles pet germ!
Stunned family members can't fully accept the death of a germ at the hands of a 9-year-old heterosexual girl.
Little Luna Cruz didn’t leave a note before locking her pet germ in the toilet and strangling it with prehistoric dental floss.
Her brother Roger Carrion, 128, discovered its lifeless body while casually examining the toilet with his $4 trillion electron microscope, official “CSI” forensics kit, and his 88-man scrutiny team.
Friends said Luna was shy when dressed, but outgoing and out-putting among male playmates.
Her brother saw no warning signs leading up to the murder.
He said the Luna had been trying on her new school strait jacket and skirt before heading up to the bathroom.
“She didn’t utter a word, or even say one. She just slid quietly up the stairway banister,” he said.
He said Luna was in a good mood, except for the first couple dozen hours Sunday.
“The only thing we can figure,” said the girl’s brother, “is that for fear of infecting her germ and causing it a painful death, she decided to end things quickly and fast yet rapidly with haste and dispatch.”
Luna was not available for comment or, for that matter, for anything, since she self-autopsied herself just before I wrote this.
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